Sunday, July 01, 2007

The One With A Mug Of Stolen Coffee

It's amazing how fast time flies. From a feet-dragging hunchback, i've become the now me. From gorging myself during recess to sleeping in class during recess. From a blue Pengawas Percubaan tag to a gold, dented Ketua Kumpulan 1 tag. From Francine Pascal to Meg Cabot. From pepsi to tea. From 'Boys have cooties!' to Kettlenose.

I know sometimes i drift off into space, looking like i'd shut my mind down. My jaw drops a little and my eyelids cover half my eyes, giving me that d-uh look.

But no one knows my mind is working more rapidly than ever during those times. Like someone who i've apparently alot in common with - i observe people. No, i don't stalk. I don't obsess over anyone. I don't watch anyone. No need to flatter yourselves if you happen to catch me looking.

Just that sometimes, when some of you whisper furiously into your friend's ear then both of you turn to look at the person you're talking about or when some of you look down dejectedly when you're yet again being shoved out of your group of friends while walking to class - i see it. I don't purposely look out for things like that. I just happen to see it at times. I read the expressions then mull over it if it interests me.

Serves no use to me but i just do it. Something like a reflex.

And given how many people i see on a daily basis in school, i've seen alot. And learned alot. Not from the minor, obvious things i see either. There are things i see that takes a little interpretation to learn from. Otherwise you won't get it. For example :

Judging a book by its cover. No, people don't care more about who you are on the inside. It's your outside they see first - and inevitably that's what they'd talk about more and hence, that's what they care more about. Believe me - physical appearance plays a huge role, whether you like it or not.

Relying on second chances. School is like this shelter for us to make mistakes. Here's the time for all the trial and error you can enjoy the luxury of committing. That's what you'd like to think. Newsflash : it's best not to make any at all. Why? Because everyone remembers your mistakes more. Unless you're strong enough to step up and prove them wrong, you'd succumb to everyone looking at you like you're incompetent and the second chances are of no use to you then. You'd believe them more than you believe in yourself.

Don't act. You'd be surprised how many people can see right through it.

Learn the art of ignorance. You know how some of us get so annoyed with certain people cos they whine so much? Or when someone says something about you that you know isn't true but you get all bothered by it anyway? Or you get pissed off over an argument with someone who's clearly too braindead to think of logical points and instead resort to dumb, irrelevant ones?

That's where ignorance comes in and cures everything. Just blank them out and treat them as if they don't exist. I do it all the time. I got so used to blanking people out that i do it even when they're right in front of me. They'd think i'm listening but in my head i'd be thinking about what funny joke Derrick cracked or what i'd be having for lunch. That's why they say ignorance is bliss. =)

Keep quiet. You know the whole speak your mind thing? Well yes, it works in some situations. But more often than not - you should just listen. You'd be surprised how much further you get by muting yourself.

Despite how fun it is, people-watching bores me nowadays. I've watched enough. It's like watching a channel that only airs reruns. The depressed girl. The pompous snob. The know-it-all. The sweetheart. The rebel. The loner. The winner. Seen 'em all.

So no worries of her catching you red-handed while you scratch your nose. Doesn't spark an interest in her anymore.

PS : I saw how she rolled her eyes at you. Why couldn't you see it too?

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