The One With The Skinny At Twenty-Three

today i realised i really shouldn't be blogging.

no don't worry, not expecting any 'no Esther! don't close down your blog!' with this. anyway, today i visited this girl's blog that i like reading despite how evil she is. well, by JAKE standards - she's evil haha. so there was an update and by now i'm used to her patterns she does all the outrageous things - running away from home, having sex with guys who don't appreciate it, battling an eating disorder, drug addiction, the works.

so this really wild girl is completely on the wrong tracks yet someone like me likes reading about what she's up to. don't get me wrong, in no way do i envy her - i've no intentions of battling my eating disorder lol - but it's interesting. and i realised that blogging really is much better for the outrageous. people like me, who's sad cos she has nothing to study wtf, shouldn't be doing this.

oh but that won't be the last you'll hear of me though. or my alter ego anyway. 've been thinking of starting another blog for awhile now except i really doubt any of you would read that kind of stuff so yeah.


today i got miffed.

some people have got absolute garbage as boyfriends. see, one thing i hate about certain girls is they settle. it's like ho shit i'm 29 years old i'm gonna hit the big three oh i better get hitched with my boyfriend eventhough really he's more of a pet than a partner all he does is eat shit and jack off. okay so the boyfriend in question is not that bad but i still get annoyed when girls are okay with being doormats. like doing everything he likes, doing things she doesn't like all the time but she does them anyway cos he likes them, never saying anything when she's upset, and convincing herself she's happy and soo lucky - when she's not. i always think with personality and wit any girl can get to anywhere she wants. and on the way, bag any guy she wants. one may think if she's shit ugly then surely she can't get a hot guy but not all hot guys are out for only hot girls. and also, not all hot guys are worth being with - some of them are so pretty on the outside but completely empty in the head making conversation'd be a joke.


today i killed my baby.

i downloaded a virus into my computer, it multiplied like crazy, now my CD drive can't read any CDs or DVDs. i feel so weak and helpless when my computer isn't complete and i'm too chicken to tell my Mom i destroyed it. i can still go online and stuff but i'll have to replace it or buy a new computer altogether. i hate my life.



gonna watch Gossip Girl with yoghurt and mourn.